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The Daily Harbinger
Tue 13 June 2000 The Harbinger Archive
 
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Weather

A cold shower is spoiling all the fun at the moment. I'll call a plumber in the morning

Sniffing forecast
Expect a variety of odd smells drifting in from the Atlantic by midmorning followed by an awful pong in the afternoon. It should be a bit fresher tonight.

Travel
The long and winding road, that leads to your door. Every day is a winding road. Classics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Cars to be cheaper - official
The Daily Harbinger has uncovered plans by the Government to make the cost of new cars cheaper. Trade & Industry Secretary Stephen Byers has unveiled plans to make everything else more expensive. "It is important that consumers receive a fair deal," he said. But when pressed on the cost of a new Rover, Mr Byers said, "I'm happy to talk about my plan to increase the cost of the family dog, but for now let's stick to cars".

UK not OK by way MFI dealt with KGB
The UK's top furniture organisation, MFI, is expected to come under heavy criticism today over they way it handled the case of KGB spy Melita Norwood. Ms Norwood bought the case from MFI in 1930, and despite there being two screws missing, it lasted her well until 1972. She had used the case to keep documents needed for her spying. But in a report due out today from the parliamentary Intelligence and Security Committee it is thought that recommendations will be made to ensure the government is told when KGB spies buy anything from MFI.

Sport: England beat Portugal
England beat Portugal last night in their first game of Euro 2000. Playing under our special Daily Harbinger Fantasy Opposites League, England won 3-2 after extra time, penalties and a golden goal. Both teams were sent off. David Seaman was man of the match and England don't play Germany on Saturday, where it is expected they will win 2-0.

 
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KNICKERS index
KNICKERS fell over night following a good day on the market floor and in the market office.

Tip of the day
Never wear your heart on your sleeve as your brain needs it to circulate blood around the body, past the lungs and thus delivering oxygen to your vital organs.

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