Clouds will bring
rain, except where there are no clouds, in which case it will be
sunny unless it's night time.
Chopping onions will lead to heavy showers down your face.
Very busy on
most routes leading into most towns and cities. Roads out will be
busy too, especially later in the day.
has lost its rights to show highlights of Premier League matches. Apparently
a top BBC executive put them down somewhere and when he went to get them
later "they were gone". The whole of the BBC has been turned
upside down as members of staff looked for the rights. All leave was cancelled
as every corner of the BBC was searched. BBC Director General Greg Dyke
said, "We are sorry to announce the BBC has lost the Premier League Rights".
When pressed on whether or not it would affect the Licence Fee, Mr Dyke
said, "and what fee is that then?". Chief executive of the Premier
League, Richard Scudamore, said, "We offer our condolences to the
losers, but if they can't look after them we'll just have to give them
to someone who can, like ITV for instance". A spokesperson for ITV
said nothing, but laughed very loudly.
that funny little country, sort of northish, is to insist all its shops
sell only organic food. In a move that will send icicles down the spines
of other food retailers, the Prime Minister of Iceland said, "It's
bloody cold here in Iceland".
calls on Prescott to win next election for Labour
Minister, Tony Blair, has asked his Deputy, John Prescott, to spearhead
Labours' General Election campaign. Basically Tony wants John to do all
in his power to make Labour 'electable' in the light of dwindling support.
It is thought that Mr Prescott will rise to the occasion and resign later
The LIFT index had a mixed day starting off low, then
rising, falling again, then back up. After lunch it rose again but
then got stuck on the third floor, where it remained until close
Yesterday's correction was incorrect. In our
early edition we said that we had accidentally printed next Saturday's
winning lottery numbers in the previous day's late edition. What
we should have said was we accidentally printed next Saturday's
winning literary numbers. This was later corrected in yesterday's
late edition correction column to 'literary members'. Again The
Daily Harbinger apologises for any inconvenience or embarrassment