It was bloody
hot yesterday. More of the same? Perhaps.
Royal icing expected in sea areas Dogger and Portland. All other
areas should expect cheaper water icing, perhaps with a dash of
All roads are
closed due to a computer error.
line on foreigners
Government is taking a hard line against foreign visitors. The Home Secretary,
Jack Straw, has told would-be 'visitors' to Britain that from now on they
must either be dead or a convicted rapist. The first wave of dead visitors
arrived in the early hours of Monday morning, just twenty four hours after
the first rapist.
to change sex
Church of England have ruled that all its vicars are to undergo a sex-change
in order to get more women into church. The Rev Peter Stone, who is the
vicar at St Philip's Church, Upper Stratton, Swindon, will be the first
to surgery, he will then resume his position as the Rev Carol Stone. The
Bishop of Bristol, the Rt Rev Barry Rogerson, said, "There are not
enough women in the Church. Once Rev Stone has had it done, we will reassess
the situation. We have not ruled out the possibility of members of our
congregations having sex changes too".
The Swedish furniture
chain IKEA is to take over the entire UK over the next 10 years. The company
says that it intends to rebuild every home, road and office in the country
and give them a strange name with funny little dots over some of the letters.
A spokesperson for IKEA said, "I was having a few drinks on Saturday
night with some of the directors and we decided to take over the UK."
A lot of homes in the UK already have items from IKEA ranging from futons
to wardrobes and lamps to small silver things you use in the kitchen.
We will also all be forced to eat meatballs.
The SHEEP were up to 467 before I fell asleep last night.
That's the highest it's been for a while. It's usually around 300-350,
but it was a lot warmer last night and that usually keeps me awake.
Today's correction is not needed as there is
nothing to coorect.