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The Daily Harbinger
Sat 24 June 2000 The Harbinger Archive
Information


Weather

I'm singing in the rain.

Shipping forecast
Sea state slight but getting a bit choppy later so the boats will bob about a bit.

Travel
Roads -OK
Motorways- Alright
Rail - Not bad

TOMORROW IN
YOUR HARBINGER

The Queen Mother talks exclusively to The Harbinger On Sunday about sex change vicars and candy floss.

 

 


 


 

 
 

C&A sales boom
The doomed high street store C&A is reporting a sharp increase in sales at it's shops around the country. Hundreds of thousands of morbid customer are visiting the retail outlets to watch the slow death of a one-time fashion leader. One shopper in Chester said, "It's a bit like a road crash, everyone gathers round to have good look at the victim." When pressed about the clothes on sale at C&A, the shopper said, "You mean this stuff is for sale?".

Lottery turns into a lottery
Neither companies bidding to take over the running of the National Lottery in 2001 have won so much as a bonus ball. The National Lottery Commission has told both Camelot and The People's Lottery, run by Richard Branson, that their bids are not up to scratch and that they must rethink their bids. A spokesperson for Camelot said, "Now we know how millions of people feel on a Saturday night when their numbers don't come up." Virgin boss Richard Branson said, "My balls dropped when I heard the news."

Sport
Strawberries are being picked in their thousands ready for the annual binge as the final preparations are put in place. Impromptu singing in the rain, the guzzling of alcohol, the 'oohs' and 'ahhs' of the crowd and occasional glimpse of a pair knickers will be spoilt again by professional people playing their hearts out to cries of 'love'. It could so easily be Glastonbury, but no, it's Wimbledon.

 
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CORRECTION
In some editions of yesterday's Harbinger we inadvertently suggested that there were no corrections from the previous day's edition. History has shown that this was not the case. Sorry.

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