the living is easy.
Set off a few
minutes earlier this morning.
Tomorrow exclusively in your Daily Harbinger,
the Spice Girls talk for the first time about the recently published
The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is said to be extremely miffed over the
leaked memo in which he admitted that his Government seemed "out
of touch". A spokesperson for Downing Street said, "He's very
cross at the thought that the British people know what he's thinking and
that he fears that his party is out of touch with Britain. He was planning
on making an address to the Nation on the Home Service tonight, but he's
just heard that Neil Armstrong has stepped on to the moon".
revert to pounds
giants Tesco are to sell products in imperial weights again because it
says its customers are confused by the metric system introduced to make
things easier for people living on the continent to buy things when over
here. A spokesperson for Tesco said, "Life was much easier in the
old days of pounds and ounces, so from today or customers will be able
to buy a four ounces of ham for just under two shillings and instead of
worrying about kilos, all our spuds will be sold at a flat rate of six
guineas a half ton."
Brown's shopping list
Chancellor Gordon Brown is to outline his plans for
Government spending in the commons later today. Mr Brown is expected to
have an extra £40bn to play with. A spokesperson for the Chancellor said,
"He's never had so much money to mess around with. He's like a child
with some extra pocket money and it's burning a hole in his pocket. It's
been suggested that he may want to spend it on the National Health Service
and education, but knowing Gordon he'll probably buy a load of Pokemon
The TMOYGFR index closed unchanged at 0, mainly due to
the fact that nobody knows what it is.
Everything seemed shitshaped yesterday, so their's
nothing to correct.