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The Daily Harbinger
Tue 25 July 2000 The Harbinger Archive
Vigilante special

Saint Day

St Gordon, patron saint of worms and other small legless animals.

Quote of the day
"Anyone seen my bloody pen?"
William Shakespeare


Tomorrow in your Daily Harbinger we name and shame people who have never done a dishonest thing in their lives in the hope that they are mistaken for someone who is a crook and has the shit beaten out of them.






Women attack home of wrong man
A group of do-gooders acting in their own best interests have attacked a house in Manchester under the impression that it was the home of a paedophile. The 'mistake' occurred when a highly respected Sunday newspaper printed details of known sex offenders in the hope that the British public would take the law into their own hands. A spokesperson for the group of women said, "We got the wrong house, but let's face it the man who lives there looks like a paedophile and the police weren't going to do anything about it." No one was arrested in the attack, but the man whose home it was is expected to forget the whole thing and act as though nothing has happened.

Drivers to be fined for speeding
In what is seen by some as a radical move, the police are to fine motorists who exceed the speed limit. Kenneth Williams Chief Constable of Norfolk and Chairman of ACPO's traffic committee said, "We are now providing clear guidance to police on the need for enforcing speeding offences". The move comes just days after the police announced that they were to arrest people for 'breaking the law', unless it's in the case of mistaken identity.

Get 'em off!
Five naked people, some thought to be men, have been fined for streaking during The Open at St Andrews. One of the women, lap dancer Jacqui Salmond, danced round the 18th flag on Sunday seconds after Tiger Woods had teed off. Mr Woods said, "I was worried that my ball might get caught in the rough."

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In the Daily Harbinger of Monday January 10th under the heading "Man killed shrimp", we would like to point out that Mr Martin Corbett was not present at the time of the killing as he was murdering a hamster in France. Sorry for any embarrassment caused.





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