It's a sign
British Airways suspended two Concorde flights last night following the crash of an Air France Concorde near Paris. Only a couple of days ago small cracks were found in the wings of several of the aircraft but it was decided not to ground any of them as they were quite safe. A spokesperson for British Airways said, "This is God's way of telling us to look more closely at the cracks".

Don't give a fig about our money
The Government has announced that it is to spend £150,000 of taxpayers' money on renting 12 fig trees to make a new office block, Portcullis House, for MP's look nice. But Sir Sydney Chapman, who chairs the accommodation and works committee denies all knowledge of the figs. "It's news to me", he said as he totted up the £235 million cost of the whole building. Meanwhile Liberal Democrat MP Norman Baker said, "What is gong on? Everyone knows MPs prefer to use oranges".

Horsing around on the football pitch
Prime Minister Kevin Keegan and England coach Tony Blair have announced a multi-million pound scheme aimed at encouraging football at grassroots level. The Football Foundation will look to increase the number of youngsters coming into the sport. Kevin Keegan said, "We at the FA will do everything we can to make sure the kids get to meet some of the players and hear from the horse's mouth how important football is." Pressing the point home Mr Blair said, "Yes, horses are important too. If we can get the FA to change the rules so that we can play on horseback, I'm sure our national team will win something in the future".