St Tony, patron
saint of toe-nails.
of the day
a man with three arms and a limp" - Claire Raynor.
Tomorrow only in your Harbinger On Sunday
- Find out why Sean Connery refuses to be photographed with chickens.
- wasn't he in Star Wars?
The online music site MP3.com has settled the copyright suit brought by
music giant EMI. The company is expected to pay about $20m in damages
and has agreed to pay a fee each time a an EMI copyright recording is
registered on its websites. The move comes just days after internet experts
declared MP3 dead and suggested that in the future people would listen
to music on transistor radios or play recorded music from a wax cylinder.
A spokesperson for something or other said, "MP3 is the Betamax of
audio. It's the hair in the soup of new technology and it's the trapped
fart in the diving suit of the internet".
report from China claims that dinosaur wind caused the extinction of the
animals. The findings were uncovered by a French scientist who said, "The
animals would eat between 130 and 260 kilos of food a day. They would
break wind non-stop." The gas, which had high levels of methane then penetrated
the ozone layer. In what has been seen by some as a knee jerk reaction,
the Chinese government has banned the sale of peanuts, baked beans and
cabbage and limited the population to one flatulent moment a day, with
two on Saturdays.
fish in river
More than 36,000 fish have died in a river in Lancashire.
The fish, including brown trout, minnows and sticklebacks, were found
in the River Irwell near Rawtenstall. The Environment Agency has been
called in to investigate the cause of the pollution and suspect that the
deaths may have been a classic case of mass suicide. A spokesperson for
the Environment Agency said, "It's not uncommon for fish to kill
themselves if they get upset or think that the world is ending."
When pressed, the spokesperson ruled out any chance that the fish died
from methane poisoning caused by fish farts.
The BUILDER index promised to close around 475,
but it hit a few snags and came in at 550.
In the Spanish edition of yesterday's Daily Harbinger
all the full stops were replaced by the word 'nimble'.