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The Harbinger on Sunday
02 July 2000 The Harbinger Archive
 
In briefs

Headline writer is a 'phoney'
There are fresh claims today that Peter Poster the leading headline writer is an impostor. The claim come following reports that Mr Poster hasn't actually written a headline. In a statement from his home in Goole, Mr Poster said, "I have nothing to say on the matter, other than to say that at this moment I have nothing to say."

Hedgehog run over
A hedgehog has died following an accident with a car. The hedgehog, who hasn't been named, was crossing the M5 when it was hit by the car. Police have asked for witnesses to come forward.

Restaurant closed
A top restaurant in Manchester is closed this morning. The eating establishment, that can't be named, isn't expected to reopen until lunchtime. A spokesperson said, "We had a busy night last night with lots of food and drink flowing. But the staff need some time off, so we'll be closed until noon."

 
 

PM's top lip is stolen
The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has had his top lip stolen. A spokesperson for Downing Street said that an intruder broke into Mr Blair's private quarters on Friday night and stole his top lip. Mr Blair wasn't at home at the time, but the robbery does throw into doubt the security measures in place to protect minister's lips. This latest theft brings the number of stolen top lips to six in as many weeks and Home Secretary Jack Straw is expected to make an announcement in the House tomorrow.

Mystery of the falling washing
Fortean investigators from all over the world are descending on the quiet village of Hartington in Derbyshire following reports that washing has been falling from the sky. Eyewitness, Maureen Farrel said, "I was pottering in my garden when all of a sudden a sock fell on me. Before I knew it the garden was covered in skirts, sheets and various items of underwear." Other people living in the village have reported similar cases. Brian Jackson said, "I opened my front door to get the milk and discovered four hundred pairs of tights on my lawn". Local meteorologists say that the freak washing was probably caused by storms in the Sahara desert sucking up washing from homes and dumping them on Hartington.

Obituary
The Hollywood actor, Michael Douglas' left leg has died. Mr Douglas, who is the son of Kirk, was playing football in the garden when he accidentally banged the leg just below the hip. "It went dead straight away", said local physician, Marcus Homely. "One minute Mr Douglas was playing happily, then, bang, tragedy struck. I really feel for the guy." Mr Douglas' leg leaves a right leg and is expected to make a full recovery in time for a game of baseball on Tuesday night with some mates.

 
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Wasted away
A wheelie bin full of rubbish has been stolen from a house in Wiltshire. The bin, stuffed full of bits of paper, broken glass, food scarps and a few unmentionables, was taken from the driveway of a house in Swindon. Police say that they a baffled by the theft. A spokesperson said, "What makes it even more strange is that the bin was returned a few minutes later empty". Other similar cases have been reported in the same street.

Shoe "the next Houdini"
A size three shoe has amazed magicians all over the world by escaping from a tank of water. The shoe, thought to be a slingback, was placed in handcuffs and dropped into the tank. Forty two hours later it floated to the top, apparently unharmed.

Weekend Weather
Sunday may turn out to be Cloud day.

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