of the day
St Linda, patron
saint of bikini lines.
where's the bloody telly zapper?"
Tomorrow only in your Daily Harbinger
- Doris Stokes talks about life after death and why she doesn't
believe in it any more.
cock up big style
Barclays Bank has admitted that new software for its internet banking
site allowed customers to see account details of other customers. The
Bank has withdrawn the upgraded service and put the previous system back
in place. A spokesperson for Barclays said, "Ooops." Another
spokesperson for Barclays said, "It's all part of our enhanced customer
relations programme. Instead of trying to look over the shoulder of the
person in front of you in one of our few remaining branches, we wanted
to allow people the chance to have a good nose from the comfort of their
takes ball home
Minister Tony Blair has thrown his own dummy out of the pram in a row
over baby Leo's Christening photographs. Following the publication of
the boring snaps in some unsavoury national newspapers over the weekend,
big baby Blair has told the press where they can stick their cameras.
He has cancelled the annual family holiday photo 'opportunity' aimed at
rubbing salt into the wounds of the hundreds of thousands of people who
can't afford a holiday. A photographer said, "He's never forgiven
his son for being found pissed up in the street and he's taking it out
on honest pissed up journalists who couldn't give a stuff about privacy".
Gates throwing money about
Bill Gates, the multimillionaire behind
Microsoft has donated $40m to malaria research
in the UK. Mr Gates, who in the past has been accused of being out of
touch with the real world, told The Daily Harbinger, "Malaria is
a very dangerous thing. Once one computer gets it it can spread quickly
by e-mail and non-Microsoft approved websites".
The BAKERS index closed unchanged at 13.
In yesterday's edition of the Daily Harbinger
the an article about a zoo keeper marrying a horse omitted to mention
that they had both been married before to the same zebra.