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The Daily Harbinger
Tue 1 August 2000 The Harbinger Archive
 
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Saint Day

St Linda, patron saint of bikini lines.

Quote of the day
"Philip, where's the bloody telly zapper?"
The Queen

 

TOMORROW IN
YOUR HARBINGER

Tomorrow only in your Daily Harbinger - Doris Stokes talks about life after death and why she doesn't believe in it any more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Barclays cock up big style
Barclays Bank has admitted that new software for its internet banking site allowed customers to see account details of other customers. The Bank has withdrawn the upgraded service and put the previous system back in place. A spokesperson for Barclays said, "Ooops." Another spokesperson for Barclays said, "It's all part of our enhanced customer relations programme. Instead of trying to look over the shoulder of the person in front of you in one of our few remaining branches, we wanted to allow people the chance to have a good nose from the comfort of their own home."

Blair takes ball home
The Prime Minister Tony Blair has thrown his own dummy out of the pram in a row over baby Leo's Christening photographs. Following the publication of the boring snaps in some unsavoury national newspapers over the weekend, big baby Blair has told the press where they can stick their cameras. He has cancelled the annual family holiday photo 'opportunity' aimed at rubbing salt into the wounds of the hundreds of thousands of people who can't afford a holiday. A photographer said, "He's never forgiven his son for being found pissed up in the street and he's taking it out on honest pissed up journalists who couldn't give a stuff about privacy".

Bill Gates throwing money about
Bill Gates, the multimillionaire behind Microsoft has donated $40m to malaria research in the UK. Mr Gates, who in the past has been accused of being out of touch with the real world, told The Daily Harbinger, "Malaria is a very dangerous thing. Once one computer gets it it can spread quickly by e-mail and non-Microsoft approved websites".

 
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BAKERS index
The BAKERS index closed unchanged at 13.

CORRECTION
In yesterday's edition of the Daily Harbinger the an article about a zoo keeper marrying a horse omitted to mention that they had both been married before to the same zebra.

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