of the day
St Andrea, patron
saint of sick.
them I'm in the toilet."
Author J K Rowling
Robbie Williams talks exclusively to the
Harbinger about dried flowers and why he never eats them.
fight over promises
The Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott and shadow chancellor Michael
Portillo have come to verbal blows over their party policies. Basically
the two grown men have nothing better to do with their time than to make
claim and counter claim about the other person's party. A spokesperson
for Mr Prescott said, "Michael Portillo said some things about us
that just aren't true. Just because our leader is on holiday the bully
boys at Conservative HQ think that they can pick on us, well we're telling."
Meanwhile a spokesperson for Michael Portillo said, "Prescott started
it. Said our leader was a piss artist. It just ain't true and anyway,
my brother is bigger than that Labour has been". Both spokespersons
then argued over policy, but it all got very boring and to be honest I
earned by England's 92 football clubs rose to £951 million in the 1998-99
season, according to researchers at Deloitte & Touche. But with the continued
increase in players' wages, some clubs are feeling the pinch. A spokesperson
for Manchester United, who play in the north somewhere, said, "The
wage bill has gone through the roof. We will seriously have to think about
increasing the price of a match ticket to around £375 per game and
find other ways to generate income for the club. One idea that we plan
to implement very soon is a new team strip for every game."
to miss out on love
The Cascade Club social club for single people in
Newport are to ban white van drivers from joining. Self-employed financial
advisers and counsellors are also banned as they are "undesirable" and
need to "sort your own lives out first". A spokesperson for the Club
said, "It's a publicity stunt. Anyone who falls for it want their
head examining and any newspaper that publishes the story won't be worth
the paper it's printed on". But some people have taken it seriously,
which is why the editor asked me to get a quote from a Club spokesperson,
the daft bastard.
The PI index closed at
There was a slight mistake in yesterday's Harbinger,
but hopefully no one noticed it.