of the day
St Agnus, patron
saint of silver trails left by snails and slugs.
that bloody music down"
Mrs Gallagher, mother of Liam and Noel
Sir Anthony Hopkins shows us his collection
of mouldy peanuts.
telecoms regulator, Oftel, says that use of digital TV services is growing
and that one in five households now has a digital television.
Another interesting figure that made us all sit up and go "Durh"
was that Digital TV is most popular among the more well-off consumers,
while take-up is lowest among unemployed households, older people, and
small households. In other words the only people who have it are the people
who can afford it. A spokesperson for Oftel said, "I can confidently
predict that in the future everyone will be watching digital TV, especially after analogue signals are scrapped".
are better than boys - official
The latest set of A-level results show that girls are cleverer than
boys when it comes to exams. More girls sat A-level this year - 54% against
46% from males. The number of girls awarded A grades was 18.1%, up from
17.4%. The figure for boys was 17.5%, unchanged from last year. A spokesperson
for girls said, "We're not thick you know. We've got brains too and
anything the boys can do we can do better". A spokesperson for boys
said, "Girls smell".
jobby for Wookey Hole(y)
Thomson Racal Defence, a private company, is sponsoring
a police officer to keep an eye on their factory and offices. The company
are paying Avon and Somerset Police £35,000 to have Pc Phil Hutchings
to patrol the streets of Wookey Hole. A spokesperson for Avon and Somerset
Police said, "The officer remains impartial and no favours have been
exchanged with Thomson Racal Defence, who offer a first class service
and very reasonable charges. I can send you a brochure if you wish."
It's understood that that other police forces may soon follow suit with
Cheshire Police taking sponsorship from a cheese manufacturer, Lancashire
Police being sponsored by a Hot Pot company while Merseyside Police will
get money from selling off a load of videos in the local pubs.
The SNEEZE index closed and we all got a bit thank-you
We'd like to apologise in advance for all the
mistakes we're likely to make in the next few weeks.