of the day
St Ethel, patron
saint of chewing gum left under a desk.
shut your bloody mouth up or I'll sing."
Michael Caine speaking to Prince Philip at a Royal Premier
Tomorrow only in your Daily Harbinger
- We ask, why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near. Is
it because you have a pocket full of seed?
wedding for Brown
The Chancellor Gordon Brown and his girlfriend Sarah Macaulay are to marry
today amid speculation that they were forced into it by Tony Blair keen
to direct attention away from his own family. A spokesperson for Mr Brown
said, "The couple are absolutely delighted at the news. They were
hoping to avoid all the publicity but the cat is now out of the bag so
we can expect another media circus". A spokesperson for Miss Maculay
said, "Gordon has a great body and works out every night. Last night
for instance he worked out that he could afford to add another penny on
the price of a gallon of petrol". The couple have been courting since
1994, but it's not known for sure if they have done 'it' yet.
in court over hot drinks
food chain McDonald's has found itself in hot water over the temperature
of its drinks. The court action will argue that McDonald's knowingly served
tea and coffee at dangerously high temperatures. The case come just weeks
before they are due to appear in court accused of serving buns with hamburgers
in them and jam doughnuts with a sticky red sweet stuff inside.
The scheme that allows pets to travel abroad with
their owners without having to spend months in quarantine is to be extended.
From January pets will be allowed to travel on their own so long as they
can prove that they have somewhere to stay while abroad. A spokesperson
for the Department of Education and Employment said, "This has nothing
at all to do with us. I think you must have the wrong department".
Of course Blackpool is in Lancashire and not
New South Wales as mentioned in yesterday's article about crappy
places to visit.