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The Daily Harbinger
Wed 9 August 2000 The Harbinger Archive

Saint Day

St Clive, patron saint of nothing.

Quote of the day
"Who left the bloody toilet seat up?"
Hillary Clinton


In tomorrow's Harbinger...












Tony Blair shot in Tuscany
The Prime Minister Tony Blair and his entire family have been shot while on holiday in Tuscany. The family were out walking in the sunshine when a mob of photographers pounced and starting shooting off reels of film. No one was hurt, but Mr Blair did have baby Leo wrapped in half a hundredweight of cotton wool 'just in case'. Meanwhile Cherie, Mr Blair's strange wife, grinned at the cameras looking like something out of a Lewis Carol book while the rest of the family looked on as if they weren't with her. It's not known if Euan, 16, was pissed yet.

Harry Potter film location named
Gloucester Cathedral, the 900 year old place where people worship God, is to be used as the setting for the much awaited Harry Potter movie. But the location is bound to stir up a bit of controversy as the Harry Potter books are all about witchcraft and wizards. But the Dean of Gloucester Cathedral, the Very Reverend Nicholas Bury, said, "I think it's wonderful that they have chosen our Cathedral for the film. I know all about the evils of getting mixed up in devil worship and witchcraft, but I see it as a positive move for the church. When the film is released thousands will flock here to see where it was set. Then, while they are here, we can brainwash them about our superior religion".

More beds to be freed up for winter
The Health Minister Lord Hunt has announced that 62m was being made available from NHS savings to try to free up as many hospital beds as possible to avoid another winter crisis in the NHS.
Lord Hunt said, "We've realised that the next General Election is just around the corner and so we are going to pump more money into the NHS. Our plan is to free up as many beds ready for the usual winter rush. The £62 million will be spent on defending in the courts our decision to switch off 600 life support machines on December 31st."

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