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The Harbinger on Sunday
13 August 2000 The Harbinger Archive
New look Sunday edition
Your week in forty words or less


Why all the fuss about Tony Blair and his holiday snaps? Last year I took a picture of my girlfriend in Brighton and none of the national newspapers would touch it.
Colin Reid, Shrewsbury UK

Any chance that daft the sailor Eric Abbot could help us win the Blue Ribbon? He must be the Eddie the Eagle of sailing.
Jane Walsh, Birmingham UK

Send us your week in forty words or less and we might even feature it.

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Tuck off
The head of the Scottish Qualifications Association, Ron Tuck has resigned. Mr Tuck was responsible for issuing exam results, but there's been a bit of a cock-up as hundreds of pupils had not received their results on time while hundreds more had been given the wrong results. Mr Tuck said, "I accept full responsibility for the difficulties which have arisen in the issue of this year's certificates. I screwed up big time, but I'm the sort of guy who, when the shit hits the fan, is not afraid to say that it's my shit." Mr Tuck is now expected to open a series of small shops in schools throughout the UK.

Bishop takes blame for war
The Bishop of Coventry has said that religion should face the fact that it is the biggest cause of war and carnage in the world. Speaking at a peace conference for 100 Christian leaders from all over the world, the Right Reverend Colin Bennetts said, "If God had wanted us to kill each other he would have given us the knowledge to make guns and missiles and Hitler. If God had wanted a peaceful planet he would have given us doves and CND and Joni Mitchell. But as God gave us all these things then we must assume that God hasn't got a bloody clue what he's doing. Perhaps now is the time for a new deity and I vote for Barbara Streisand." The Bishop was then led away surrounded by a cheering crowd of papal assassins.

A shot in the arse
A load of innocent grouse, who hadn't harmed anyone in their lives, found out the hard way that guns can kill. Yesterday was the 'Glorious 12th', the start of the grouse-hunting season. But a spokesperson for people who like hunting live animals said, "It looks like it's going to be another poor year. The number of grouse in this country is falling. Can't figure it out, perhaps they're dying out or something."

 
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SUNDAY SMUT The Harbinger digs the dirt on the rich and famous.
News this week that Charlie Dimmock has been seen in bed with Alan Titmarsh actually turned out to be a flower bed. But it's still not clear if he gave her one.

This week's TV
This week the TV is a Phillips with a 32 inch screen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         
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