Palace release film of William
Buckingham Palace, home of the Queen, has released film footage of Prince William at school. In an unprecedented move, those that are interested, can now watch this young man, who will be 18 very soon, working in lessons as well as playing sport. In a statement issued by The Palace, the Queen said, "You can see Wills at his desk and in a swimsuit. Look out for the bit where he nearly trips over, that was funny." Later this month it is expected that members of the public will be invited to Windsor Castle to see a slide show of the Queen Mother's hip replacement operation, video of Prince Charles putting up some shelves and a rare photograph of Princess Ann smiling.

Michael Caine Knighted
Old actor Michael Caine is to be knighted in the Queen's Birthday Honour's list. Earlier this year Mr Caine had claimed that he never felt that he belonged in his country or in his profession and that he felt "out in the cold". In a statement issued by Buckingham Palace, the Queen said, "I've decide to give Michael Caine a Knighthood. Now he can piss off to some other country".

Sport: Countdown to England kick-off
The countdown to tonight's big match has already started as football fans representing us all in Brussels have clashed with police and Turkish youths. And, in a move that is becoming something of a tradition for travelling supporters, one British fan has already been stabbed. Our loyal fans had earlier tried to pick a fight with German supporters, but that was quickly stamped out by police who have asked fans to save their anger against the Germans until after they beat England tonight in some football game.