Doctors want acupuncture available on the NHS
Doctors are calling for acupuncture treatment to be available to all via the NHS. The call has come from the British Medical Association following a two year study. A spokesperson for the Government said, "If people want needles stuck in them, then they should take up drugs. Anyway, I'm not convinced that this treatment works and I would like to see the results of the test carried out by the little pricks."

Tyson shock
Thousands of Poole were shocked at the weekend that legendary boxer and general good egg, Mike Tyson 'went over the top a bit'. In his fight, that latest just 38 seconds, Tyson 'didn't hear the bell' and carried on beating the life out of his opponent, Lou Savarese and the referee. Not satisfied with that, Tyson now wants to 'eat Lennox Lewis' children'. The normally quiet, law abiding boxer is now hoping that he can fight again in 'sucker' Britain, but his promoter in this country Frank Warren said, "Money isn't everything and anyway I don't think there is a chef here who knows how to cook kids".

Sport: Tennis seeds
Two Spanish tennis stars have pulled out of Wimbledon in a row over seedings. Alex Corretja and Albert Costa say that they had asked for marigold seeds and were given radishes. "It's an insult", said Corretja, "Our first choice was marigold and they offered us radishes. When we refused they told us that we could have Spanish onions instead. But that was the final straw, so we're not playing any more".