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Man
run over by moth
A
Hartlepool man remains in a critical condition in hospital after
he was run over by a moth. Police say no one else was involved in
the accident. The moth was was treated for shock and allowed home.
Headline
writer lost
Peter
Poster the leading headline writer has gone missing from his home
in Surrey. Police say that they are not too bothered and his family
don't seem to give a damn either.
Door slammed
shut and then opened again
Unconfirmed reports say that a door in Reading
town centre was slammed shut last night, just moments before it
was reopened. Police say that a man is helping them with their enquirers,
which usually means that he's the one that did, or at least knows
who it was.
Child named
Colin
Peterson, who's only a few months old, has been named Colin Peterson
by his parents at a family service in Crewe. No other details are
available at the moment.
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Drinking straw
to sit exam at Oxford
A wax coated paper drinking straw is to sit an exam
at Oxford. The straw, who can't be named (it's the law), has been revising
for the A-Level History exam for two years. But the state-run school near
his home in Cheshire refused to let him sit the exam and now the straw
has to travel all the way to Oxford to take it.
A spokesperson for
the school (I think it was a woman), said: "If we start allowing
drinking straws to sit exams then who knows where it could lead. I mean
to say, a school is no place for a drinking straw.
Leading academics
at Oxford expect the straw to fail.
17 arrested at
car boot sale
17, yes
17, people were arrested following rioting at a car boot sale in Cardiff.
Police said that those arrested were known Car Boot terrorists who deliberately
go to these kind of events to cause trouble. No one was hurt during the
riot but there was some damage to property, including six glasses that
were broken and a large print of a small boy crying was ripped. Police
estimate
the total cost of the damage to be in the region of £3.25.
Obituary
The death
has been announced of Mrs Hilda Greenham's rubber plant after a short
illness. It was 3. The plant had thrived for most of its life on the windowsill
looking out onto the children's play area.
In 1998 the rubberplant
was accidentally knocked over by the decorators and had to be re-potted.
In May of this year its leaves started to turn yellow.
The funeral will be
held at Norton Allotment on Tuesday at 3pm followed by composting. Family
flowers only.
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Policeman
bit dog
A
small dog has been bitten by a policeman in a ferocious attack in
Cornwall. The dog, thought to be called 'Tiny', was happily playing
in his owners garden when he was set upon by a uniformed policeman
and bitten on the ear. The family vet said that Tiny was shaken
and needed several stitches in his ear. Members of the public have
asked that anyone with information should call other members of
the public.
Church
to close on Sundays
A church in South Wales
is to close on Sundays because of dry rot. The Rev Tony Arthur said:"The
rot only seems to set in on a Sunday during my sermon, so we've
decided to hold our services on a Tuesday evening instead".
Weekend
Weather
Not
much different to the week's weather really. I mean, just because
it's Sunday doesn't mean that the weather is going to be any different
does it? Unless , of course, you live in Slough.
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