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Man
blows fuse
A
Hereford man has blown the fuse in his electric lawnmower. The incident,
that police are treating as 'suspicious', happened on Thursday while
the man was cutting his lawn. Police say that no one else was involved.
Headline
writer stolen
Peter
Poster the leading headline writer has been stolen from an exhibition
at the Modern Tate. Police say that Mr Poster was last seen in the
coffee bar drinking iced tea. But an hour later he was gone.
Postman bit
dog
A postman in Goole has been suspended after he
bit a dog that was trying to have sex with his post bag. A spokesperson
for the Post Office said, "It's the first I've heard of it".
Glue sets
A
pot of glue used by school children in Bude has set. A spokesperson
for the school said, "The children are really upset. They loved
that glue".
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Woman finds elephant
in packet of Rich Tea biscuits
A woman in Reading got more than she bargained for
when she opened a packet of Rich Tea biscuits. "I'd already eaten
two or three of the biscuits when I suddenly noticed something else was
in the packet. When I emptied them out into the biscuit barrel I could
clearly see that it was an elephant", she said. The woman, who can't
be named (it's the law), is believed to be the same woman who found a
Killer Whale in a packet of fruit gums in 1997. A spokesperson for her
local environmental health department said, "I think she is lying".
School closed
A school
in Manchester closed it's doors on Friday afternoon and vowed not to open
them again until Monday morning. The school, thought to be in the Gorton
area, has over three hundred pupils on its books. The headmaster, Tony
Goff, told the Daily Harbinger, "I'm locking up now and won't be
coming back until Monday, speak to me then". Angry parents hadn't
gathered at the gates of the school and children playing in the street
near by seemed unaware of what had happened.
Obituary
Someone
very famous has died. The person, known to millions for their kindness,
acting ability and charity work, passed away quietly in their sleep. They
were 71. In a long and distinguished film and stage career the person
will be best remembered for their role opposite another actor, who is
also dead, in a movie about a couple falling in love. Another famous actor
said, "They were the best at what they did. They were an actor's
actor. We will miss them". The BBC are planning a special evening
of this person's films as a mark of respect.
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Killer washing
line strikes again
A
rogue washing line has claimed it's seventh victim. A 27 year-old
woman in Runcorn was in ASDA when she was strangled in an unprovoked
attack by the washing line. Police say the line, thought to be about
ten metres long, is responsible for six other deaths in Cheshire
and parts of Merseyside. Police warn the public to be on their guard.
Nun
arrested in office brawl
A seventy nine year-old nun has been
arrested following a fight in an insurance office in Halifax. The
nun, who is a regular on the TV show Songs of Praise, allegedly
walked into the office and started kicking and punching the receptionist
who had refused to take part in an impromptu prayer session.
Weekend
Weather
Sunny
with some cloud and rain. Becoming dark later in the day as that
huge bright thing disappears behind a mountain.
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