More taxing problems
Following yesterday's news that the tax office had 'lost' hundreds of tax records, comes the news that the Inland Revenue's online site isn't working. A spokesperson for the tax office said, "It's not a major problem. We'll just take an extra £5 off everybody and some new computers to replace the ZX81s we've been using".

Did you hear the one about the Chief Inspector of Prisons?
There are calls for the Chief Inspector of Prisons, Sir David Ramsbotham to be sacked for making an "offensive" joke about Irish terrorists. The Home Office refused to comment on Sir David's joke but 'comedian' Bernard Manning said, "I think this is an outrage. I don't go around telling Mr Ramsbotham how to do his job, so why is Mr Ramsbotham telling unfunny racist jokes?". Mr Ramsbotham said, "It's a cracker."

MI5 and MI6 to open secret files
The Data Protection Commissioner has ordered the intelligence services MI5 and MI6 to open their secret files. In a move that is sure to send shockwaves through the corridors of power, members of the public will be able to find out secrets about themselves that up until now only the government has know. A spokesperson for MI5 said, "It's outrageous. We've spent many years writing secret stuff about people and now any Tom Dick or Harry can see what we've been saying. It's an invasion of our privacy."