More go digital
The telecoms regulator, Oftel, says that use of digital TV services is growing and that one in five households now has a digital television. Another interesting figure that made us all sit up and go "Durh" was that Digital TV is most popular among the more well-off consumers, while take-up is lowest among unemployed households, older people, and small households. In other words the only people who have it are the people who can afford it. A spokesperson for Oftel said, "I can confidently predict that in the future everyone will be watching digital TV, especially after analogue signals are scrapped".

Girls are better than boys - official
The latest set of A-level results show that girls are cleverer than boys when it comes to exams. More girls sat A-level this year - 54% against 46% from males. The number of girls awarded A grades was 18.1%, up from 17.4%. The figure for boys was 17.5%, unchanged from last year. A spokesperson for girls said, "We're not thick you know. We've got brains too and anything the boys can do we can do better". A spokesperson for boys said, "Girls smell".

Bobby jobby for Wookey Hole(y)
Thomson Racal Defence, a private company, is sponsoring a police officer to keep an eye on their factory and offices. The company are paying Avon and Somerset Police £35,000 to have Pc Phil Hutchings to patrol the streets of Wookey Hole. A spokesperson for Avon and Somerset Police said, "The officer remains impartial and no favours have been exchanged with Thomson Racal Defence, who offer a first class service and very reasonable charges. I can send you a brochure if you wish."
It's understood that that other police forces may soon follow suit with Cheshire Police taking sponsorship from a cheese manufacturer, Lancashire Police being sponsored by a Hot Pot company while Merseyside Police will get money from selling off a load of videos in the local pubs.