Blair backs down over holiday snaps
The Prime Minister,Tony Blair, has made a dramatic U-turn over his traditional holiday photographs. Following our campaign calling on the Blairs to grow-up, Downing Street has announced that photographers will now be allowed to take pictures of the First Family as they begin their summer break. A spokesperson for Downing Street said, "Following pressure from the Daily Harbinger the Blairs have decided to allow the photo session to take place". A spokesperson for the Daily Harbinger said, "It's great news, but to tell the truth we don't give a shit because we don't have pictures in our papers."

Fill her up
A one-day nationwide protest against high petrol prices that called for motorists to boycott the pumps hit a small problem on Tuesday when hundreds of thousands of motorists bought petrol. The organiser of the "dump the pump" campaign, Garry Russell said, "It's been a great day for people power. I think the message was rung out loud and clear to the Government that frankly the people of Britain don't give a shit".

New register planned for stalkers
Convicted stalkers could be made to sign a register of offenders, the Home Office has confirmed. The proposed register would work in a similar way to the sex offender's register, which means that the News of the World will be printing the names and photographs of stalkers hoping that people will follow them, harass them and so in turn appear on the register. A spokesperson for the News of the World said, "We don't give a shit. Our aim is to name and shame everyone in the country".