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Weather
Some
cloud, a bit of sun and the odd shower, except in the north.
Top temperature expected to be about normal for a Thursday morning
in Paris.
Shipping forecast
Dogger, windy
with a few splashes. Dover, a bit nippy and wet.Viking, a man in
a helmet with horns.
Travel
All roads lead
to Rome. Heavy congestion northbound.
FUTON
index
The FUTON closed 9.25 points down at 672.89
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Second
Titanic set to sink
Tycoon Sarel Gous has unveiled plans to drown hundreds of people in
the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Gous, who has lots of money, said: "They
said it could never happen again, but I will prove them wrong". Gous
is planning to build Titanic II in Belfast next Friday.
Nearly
naked people protest
Dozens of nearly naked people brought Brighton to a standstill yesterday
as they marched, nearly naked, through the streets demanding the right
to be nearly naked. A spokesman said: "We will take our fight all
the way to the top. If we want to parade around nearly naked, then we
should be allowed to." The event, however was marred by an unexpected
streaker.
Universities
to allow thick people in
Educationally challenged people are to be allowed to
go to university. In an unprecedented move by some of the UK top learning
establishments, people from the lower classes will be allowed to attend
daily cleaning sessions, gardening activities and canteen clearing operations.
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