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The Daily Harbinger
Mon 5 June 2000 The Harbinger Archive

Some cloud, a bit of sun and the odd shower, except in the north.
Top temperature expected to be about normal for a Thursday morning in Paris.

Shipping forecast
Dogger, windy with a few splashes. Dover, a bit nippy and wet.Viking, a man in a helmet with horns.

All roads lead to Rome. Heavy congestion northbound.

FUTON index
The FUTON closed 9.25 points down at 672.89



Second Titanic set to sink
Tycoon Sarel Gous has unveiled plans to drown hundreds of people in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Gous, who has lots of money, said: "They said it could never happen again, but I will prove them wrong". Gous is planning to build Titanic II in Belfast next Friday.

Nearly naked people protest
Dozens of nearly naked people brought Brighton to a standstill yesterday as they marched, nearly naked, through the streets demanding the right to be nearly naked. A spokesman said: "We will take our fight all the way to the top. If we want to parade around nearly naked, then we should be allowed to." The event, however was marred by an unexpected streaker.

Universities to allow thick people in
Educationally challenged people are to be allowed to go to university. In an unprecedented move by some of the UK top learning establishments, people from the lower classes will be allowed to attend daily cleaning sessions, gardening activities and canteen clearing operations.

The digest pages

Clinton weeps for dead turtle

Jippy tummy spoils first night >>

Water sold as petrol in Bristol >>

How flip-flop killed my mother >>

Kidman and Cruise set to break records

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