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The Harbinger Digest 11 June 2000
 
 
In brief

Man run over by moth
A Hartlepool man remains in a critical condition in hospital after he was run over by a moth. Police say no one else was involved in the accident. The moth was was treated for shock and allowed home.

Headline writer lost
Peter Poster the leading headline writer has gone missing from his home in Surrey. Police say that they are not too bothered and his family don't seem to give a damn either.

Door slammed shut and then opened again
Unconfirmed reports say that a door in Reading town centre was slammed shut last night, just moments before it was reopened. Police say that a man is helping them with their enquirers, which usually means that he's the one that did, or at least knows who it was.

 
 

Drinking straw to sit exam at Oxford
A wax coated paper drinking straw is to sit an exam at Oxford. The straw, who can't be named (it's the law), has been revising for the A-Level History exam for two years. But the state-run school near his home in Cheshire refused to let him sit the exam and now the straw has to travel all the way to Oxford to take it.

A spokesperson for the school (I think it was a woman), said: "If we start allowing drinking straws to sit exams then who knows where it could lead. I mean to say, a school is no place for a drinking straw.

Leading academics at Oxford expect the straw to fail.

Obituary

The death has been announced of Mrs Hilda Greenham's rubber plant after a short illness. It was 3. The plant had thrived for most of its life on the windowsill looking out onto the children's play area.

In 1998 the rubberplant was accidentally knocked over by the decorators and had to be re-potted. In May of this year its leaves started to turn yellow.

The funeral will be held at Norton Allotment on Tuesday at 3pm followed by composting. Family flowers only.

 
This week's Digest
 

Clinton weeps over dead turtle
>>

Jippy tummy spoils first night >>

Water sold as petrol in Bristol >>

How flip-flop killed my mother >>

Kidman and Cruise set to break records
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