Clinton weeps over dead turtle
By Chester Parkinson-Smythe in Washington

President Bill Clinton was at Camp David this weekend mourning the death of his pet turtle, Michaelangelo, who was accidentally flushed down a Whitehouse toilet on Friday.

In a statement from one of the President's aids, the 'accident' happened following the President's weekly inspection of his menagerie.

It is thought that Michaelangelo had been a close pet of the President since he was presented with the turtle at the world premier of the Teenage Ninja Turtle Movie some years ago.

The death of Michaelangelo couldn't have come at a worse time for the President as only last month he called off a planned visit to Poland when a fifty year old Coy Carp died in the Presidential fish pond at the Whitehouse.

Hillary Clinton, speaking on CNN, said: "I was trying to decide which frock to wear to do this interview when Gloria, our Head Animal Trainer, screamed that Michaelangelo had fallen into the toilet."

Washington DC police were not called, but Chelsea did send out for pizza.