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Man
run over by moth
A
Hartlepool man remains in a critical condition in hospital after
he was run over by a moth. Police say no one else was involved in
the accident. The moth was was treated for shock and allowed home.
Headline
writer lost
Peter
Poster the leading headline writer has gone missing from his home
in Surrey. Police say that they are not too bothered and his family
don't seem to give a damn either.
Door slammed
shut and then opened again
Unconfirmed reports say that a door in Reading
town centre was slammed shut last night, just moments before it
was reopened. Police say that a man is helping them with their enquirers,
which usually means that he's the one that did, or at least knows
who it was.
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Drinking straw
to sit exam at Oxford
A wax coated paper drinking straw is to sit an exam
at Oxford. The straw, who can't be named (it's the law), has been revising
for the A-Level History exam for two years. But the state-run school near
his home in Cheshire refused to let him sit the exam and now the straw
has to travel all the way to Oxford to take it.
A spokesperson for
the school (I think it was a woman), said: "If we start allowing
drinking straws to sit exams then who knows where it could lead. I mean
to say, a school is no place for a drinking straw.
Leading academics
at Oxford expect the straw to fail.
Obituary
The death has been
announced of Mrs Hilda Greenham's rubber plant after a short illness.
It was 3. The plant had thrived for most of its life on the windowsill
looking out onto the children's play area.
In 1998 the rubberplant
was accidentally knocked over by the decorators and had to be re-potted.
In May of this year its leaves started to turn yellow.
The funeral will be
held at Norton Allotment on Tuesday at 3pm followed by composting. Family
flowers only.
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